We Love... Zee Avi

I'm a sucker for daunting sound, beautiful lyrics, and a good story. Which is why I'm so much in love with Zee Avi. This girl is amazing with a capital A. Minnie, wish I could watch her concert with you.

Boom-Sha-Clack-Clack

What is this all about?

Settle down, please don't yell or shout

The landlord he lives downstairs

We'll get evicted

Please don't be too loud

You say I'm passive-aggressive

How can I not be?

When you're always talking at me

You say I'm unresponsive 

And here you are

Talking over me

You make me wanna throw this shoe

Right through that concrete wall

Maybe you should pack your things 

If it's that dreadful

Then just leave it all

Don't wanna keep on sharing my bed 

With someone that I have to love less and less

Every time I try to make you smile

You say that I'm being a child

Well I tried my best

You say that I need therapy

Well, my darling, so do you

Don't need for you to tell me

What is wrong in all I say or do

Please don't try to throw this shoe 

Right through that concrete wall

Maybe you should pack your things

If it's that dreadful

Then just leave it all

Listen to that Boom-Sha-Clack-Clack sound and tell me you don't get shudders.

Cheers,
-Bubbalub-

Here's for dreams, big or small

A reminder

For as long as I remember, I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Except for a brief period in my childhood during which I had the usual children’s dreams - being a teacher, being an astronaut, being a president, being a pilot, etc. – that has always been my dream. The kind of writer I want to be, though, has always been changing. When I was little and I loved reading children books, I wanted to write a children book. As I got older and started to acquaint myself with heavy literatures, I wanted to be a poet. When I got into debating and, in extent, politic, I wanted to be a journalist. For a while, that’s what I want to be, a journalist.

An internship and a job at a newspaper later, I found out that I don’t think I can be a journalist. As I become more realistic, I understand that I don’t have the guts to be a journalist. It’s a serious job that requires a lot of courage and discipline and no, I don’t have enough amount of either quality. I love it still, but I can’t be one and still be happy and content. Then, I tried to work at a lifestyle magazine. I liked it to a certain degree, it is still writing, after all, but no, I won’t be doing it for the rest of my life. I don’t give a crap about the kinds of stuff they are covering.

So for a while, I was not sure what kind of writer I want to be. All I know was that I still wanted to be a writer.

Until yesterday.  (Du du dum)

For those of you familiar with the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini, the latest installment just came out on November 8. The geek that I am, I rushed to the book store, put a reserve on one, and finished the 850 pages in 4 days in between work and workshops and meetings. I’m so proud of myself.

I hadn’t finished a book in a while, and my attention span has gotten shorter and shorter over the years. I was very much doubtful if I could finish it that quickly. My estimation was a month.

I’m going to restrain my opinion about the book because if I start writing about it, this would end up to be a review of the book and I could go on and on and on.

As disappointing the book is (oops, sorry can’t help it) it brought back this dream I’ve always had. I haven’t read a fantasy book since the last Harry Potter book. It turned out that I had forgotten of this burning passion I had for the fantasy genre. Inheritance brought that back. I was again in love with the idea and now that I’m older and I understand what I want, I finally know that that’s what I want to do. I want to be a novelist and I want to start by writing a fantasy novel.

So for the first time in my life, I am sure of the kind of writer I want to be. I am now starting on this book. I have a pretty firm idea of what it is going to be. I am developing the story as I’m writing this.

It’s amazing the change that this enlightenment brought. I am excited again for the first time in a long time. I want to start writing this. I can’t wait to start doing this. I’m ecstatic.

So, wish me luck.

For Christopher Paolini, thank you. Thank you for reminding me why I love the genre so much. From the bottom of my heart, thank  you. 

Cheers,

-Bubbalub-

Being disillusioned is not so bad after all

Doesn't really have anything to do with the post, but damn it, I love this picture.

First of all, I apologize for my long absence. The office cut off my wi-fi.

Now back to our heavy heavy conversation.

Idealism is such a heavy word, isn’t it?

Maybe this convo that we’ve been having is not about idealism after all, because it is such a broad word and, let’s face it, it’s been thrown around quite loosely. So maybe, it’s more about being disillusioned. Disillusionment is an inevitable part of growing up, after all.

I guess Minnie is right. Maybe it is not the death of idealism, rather the process of getting more realistic. Which is not such a bad thing. It keeps you grounded. It makes you see thing as is. And thanks, Minnie, for reminding me that I haven't really given up. I still know what I want. I still know where my line is and I still try not to cross it (just know that my line is very far away). 

That being said, I do want to clarify something. I might have come off like I hate my job in the last post. Quite on the contrary, I love my job. I like what I do, I like the people I work with, and I even like my boss. How many people can say that with a straight face, right?

So after a few weeks of careful consideration, I’ve decided not to kick myself for doing this “un-idealistic” job (let’s pretend that “un-idealistic” is a word). I’ve decided to be proud of myself for landing this job and for now, I’m just gonna enjoy it. However, I know for sure that I’m not gonna stay for long if only because I am NOT a corporate girl. I’ve always known that, and now I’m sure of it. But for now, I'm going to enjoy it and stop whining.  

Now let's move on and start whining about other things.

Cheers,

-Bubbalub- 

What was, what is and what ought to be

You'll never succeed in idealizing hard work. Before you can dig mother earth you've got to take off your ideal jacket. The harder a man works, at brute labor, the thinner becomes his idealism, the darker his mind.

D. H. Lawrence 

allegedly one of Banksy's
taken from The Boston Globe

My whole life, my father hasn’t been much of an advice giver. He usually just let me make my mistakes and help me learn from them. (Before I move on, let me take a moment and say this: my dad is the best dad a girl can ask for. I really don’t say this enough.) But I will never forget the one advice he has ever given me. He said, “You can’t be an idealist forever. Of course it’s good to be an idealist, but the world is not ideal. You got to learn to accept that. Otherwise, you’re bound to be disappointed your whole life.”

And my, is he right. The world is a cynical place and being an idealist in the midst of all the capitalism, opportunism and cynicism is hard. So as I grew older I started to become more and more realistic, and as I became more realistic I became more cynical.

Let me paint a picture for you. A couple years ago, I was a high school kid. I was a volunteer at several organizations that provide free educations for kids from poor families. I was in many debate competitions talking about many world issues. At that time, when I discovered new things about child trafficking, nuclear war, genocide or any kind of violation of human rights, I was enraged. I cared. I talked about global warming before it was trendy. And as I was doing all that, I felt like I could really make a difference. One thing at a time. I could really do something and I really wanted to do something.

In college, I found another kind of idealism. I spent college smoking weed, having fun, listening to the best music there is out there, talking about what life is all about. We thought about buying a van and just lived life as a hippie. We didn’t care for money. Money, we didn’t have much, but happiness we had plenty.  I learned to take life easy. I learned to be chill. I learned to just go with the flow. I learned that life is an adventure and you can be anything. Absolutely anything.

Today, I’m a corporate girl. I am working at a law firm editing documents for rich people; documents that will help them get richer at the expense of the working class. My partner, the only other person in my department, and I were talking about that the other day. He said, "What we are working on is the kind of stuff that activists burned." I guess he felt the same thing I feel. Here's the difference, his family is depending on him. He doesn't have a choice. I do.

I don’t even have the courage to be who I really am. I go to church because I have to, never mind that I’m an atheist. Even worse, I no longer care. When I read about corruption, murder, prejudice, violation of human rights, I no longer care. I just shrug. I no longer believe. I no longer believe that I can change the world.

I’ll tell you something, my dad is right. Being an idealist brings about a lot of disappointment. I have been disappointed plenty of time. Here is the thing though. Being this girl, this corporate girl who has become a realist, I disappoint myself. I don't know where I'm going. And right now, I wish I could go back.

So Minnie, I guess this week, at least for us, is the week when idealism dies.

Cheers, 

-Bubbalub-

Paradox

Taken from Mahalanobis

It’s really weird how exciting things can happen; yet life still feels pretty… bland.

It’s been a while since the last post. We have so many excuses for that, but bottom line: we forgot the password. A bunch of geniuses aren’t we?

Since then, many things have happened. I have found a full-time job, stayed there for four months, and got another job. God saves my CV. I straightened my hair, so bye bye Janis Joplin’s hair (fingers crossed in a couple months I’ll have my old hair back). Oh, I started with the ex again and then had this huge fight and not talking again and met him once and haven’t talked to him since. And Minnie, well, Minnie has some interesting stories.

Our business venture is not quite ours anymore, it is soon-to-be Minnie’s business venture since I am too occupied with this full time job thing. (I’m so gonna rant about this bizarre thing that is a corporate job). Well, a lot of things have happened.

Despite all the fascinating stuff happening around my life, somehow I feel lost. I mean I love my job, I love my family, I love the few friends I have here and things are pretty perfect, but I don’t feel like myself.

I feel like I have to adjust myself to my community. People expect you to meet their expectations around here, and I just can’t handle that. Hell, I am probably the most liberal person you will ever see, and this country is a very conservative one. I can’t say what I want, I can’t be who I am. Hell, I can’t even say my conviction out loud.

So that’s all from me. This is one of the most exciting points in my life, and I’m frustrated.

Cheers,

-bubbalub-

Martine

In one of our conversations during that 3 months that we were roommates for the second time, we found out that we both used to love the same children book. The book is originally titled Martine. We fell in love with the book for the same reason: it's gorgeous illustrations.

Picture taken from "As the Rain Kiss the Sea"

Look at that gorgeous illustration! how can you not be in love with it?

Picture taken from Brocante Vesseaux Aubenas
look at that cute little "non-cat"

The books follow the story of a little girl named Martine. Every book tells different stories that she and her cute little dog experience, like taking the plane for the first time, cooking, celebrating her birthday, gardening, helping her mother taking care of her sister, even joining the circus in her dream. 

The books were written and illustrated by Marcel Marlier and were originally written in Belgian.

Oh I used to love love looooove this book. So tomorrow, I'm going to go through my storeroom and find these books cause rumor has it, I still have them. SO EXCITED!!!

Cheers,

-Bubbalub-

In love with Martine since god knows when

Between love, friendship, blog, work, school, and other stressful stuff

It's been 5 months since our last post, and we have failed fulfilling Minnie's promise to keep posting. 

So here I am, trying to get us back on a roll.

In that 5 months, a lot of things have happened. 

Minnie and I have started a business venture together (more on that later, no promise though)

I have moved out of the country (the sentence is so confusing since I don't know if I should say moved out, moved back, or just moved)

I have found a new freelance job that got me stuck in this love-hate relationship (love the money, hate he monotony)

I have reentered this ridiculous relationship, or lack of relationship that is, with an ex that got minnie facebook-yelling me (thanks a lot, btw hon)

Taken from Me,Myself,andI

And a lot other things that you'd find out sooner or later. 

Anyway, today I was browsing around when my mind suddenly brought me back to this little blog. I realized how much I miss Minnie, the stupidly complicated talks we shared when we were roommates, and our weird takes on a lot of stuff. 

So here we go. 

We might be in different continents, Minnie, but I propose that we continue writing in this blog so we can keep sharing our weird takes on life. Shall we? 

No one reads this blog,

but somehow it makes me happy. 

Cheers 

-Bubbalub-

A Stupid Stupid Night

So Minnie is sound asleep on her bed and here I am wide awake on mine.

It's 3 a.m. Someone just jumped in the pool outside. My insomnia is back.
What a weird night.



Cheers!
-Bubbalub-
Having insomnia since 2008.